If THIS is Redemption Then Let Me be Damned!
by jaded316
Summary: Set after Chosen.R/R Please!Spike's musings as he journeys into the hellmouth and as he sacrifices his unlife to save the world. Songfic-Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden. It's full of the funny don't worry!!!Sequel now found n the Angel section.


Title: If THIS is Redemption Then Let me Be Damned!!!

Disclaimer: Don't own anybody and I don't own the song. Black Hole Sun belongs to Soundgareden. My mom said that if I save enough money baby-sitting and I promise to keep my grades up, she will let me buy Spike for my sweet sixteen. Promises, promises...

Spoilers: In every nook and cranny.

Summary: Spike's musings as he goes into the hellmouth to finish the war once and for all.

A/N: Just a little something I thought up while thinking about just how adorable Spike looked basked in sunlight, with unshed tears in his magnificent blue eyes. With his hair disheveled and his face with a peaceful look on it. This fic was written to remind my heart that Spike is not dead and will be returning to us...hopefully...Let's just hope he's the sarcastic trouble causing Spike we all know and love.

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Oh Bloody Hell. There have to be hundreds of Ubervamps in here and I'm here, at the forefront of Hell, with 2 Slayers, a dozen teenage girls and armed with a Christmas ornament around my neck. I gotta be tripping, or at least pissed. Red better be able to magically endow these chits with some Super-Slayer kick-ass powers are else we're all MAJORLY screwed. Oh crap. They see us. In all my 100 and some odd years of unlife I've never seen such an impressively big yet_ uuuugggllyyy _army coming toward me. These freaks are where my vampire blood originated?! Apparently looks don't run in the "family." Dammit Witch, you better hurry up.

As the Ubervamps attack and I'm just about certain we're gonna get our arses handed to us, I saw the most unbelievably disturbing yet hilarious fight of my life. You know that S.I.T. Amy? Scrawny, voice like Minnie Mouse and wears a disturbing amount of pink? I witnessed her kicking the shit out of an Ubervamp! If I weren't in the mist of making one of the Ubervamp's face even uglier than it already was, I would have fallen on my arse laughing! I can't believe the Witch did it! I love ya, Red! Hold up where did THAT come from?! Wait a minute...Oh my God, Amy just roared at an Ubervamp! Now that was just effin' adorable! Woo hoo! We could actually win this war. IF I could just get this doohickey around my neck to work...

Bleeding, Bloody Hell, Barbara Streisend, Crapsicles! This damn doohickey won't work!!! Daft grandsire probably has the real thing and gave me some rock covered in his damn, poofy hair gel. And he calls me Captain Peroxide. Have you ever seen his hair up close?! It's as hard as cement! Not as hard as his cro-magnum forehead but still!!! He's probably planning to swoop in here, coat bellowing in the air, as he saves the day. Effing wanker. Should have known he was the one who should be wearing this thing. He's the only ensouled, Master Vampire **I** know who would wear something so _extravagant_. Poof

Now I wish this damn doohickey didn't work. It feels like every fiber of my being is on fire. It reminds me of when I'd take daytime strolls to the Slayer's house but even then I'd only get singed around the edges. This is a thousand times worse. Suddenly, I feel a burning sensation in my chest where this ugly excuse for an amulet lays. A force, not my own lifts me up off my knees and a blast of light shoots out from my doohickey. In the distance, I can barely make out Buffy scream out my name. When I see the Ubervamps crumble into smoldering ash as the force controlling my body, moves the ray over them I realize what that ray is...

Sunlight.

Dammmnnnn.

**In my eyes**

** Indisposed**

** In disguise**

** As no one knows**

** Hides the faces**

** Lies the snake**

** The sun**

** In my disgrace**

** Boiling heat**

** Summer stench**

** 'Neath the black**

** The sky looks dead**

** Call my name**

** Through the cream**

** And I'll hear you **

** scream again**

** Chorus:**

** Black hole Sun**

** Won't you come**

** And wash away the rain**

** Black hole Sun**

** Won't you come**

** Won't you come**

Bloody Hell Slayer, don't cry for me. You think you love me but you really don't. I don't know why but you fell in love with the "Second Best Ensouled Master Vampire." Your loss Slayer. I do love you though, Buffy but this is something I have to do. You deserve a happier life. Preferably one without my sissy grandsire. As I feel something stirring deep in my body, I realize what it is and why I chose to sacrifice myself to save the world. It wasn't for Buffy. Well, at least not _entirely_ for Buffy. It was because my soul needed this. Not for redemption but because this is what I felt I needed to do. Simply because it was the _right_ thing to do. Maybe I am turning into my pansy of a grandsire...Nah. I'm just that damn good. Letting Heaven or whatever use my body to fight "The Forces of Evil" makes me feel manly almost... Wait a bleeding minute, if the Master of Brood is working toward redemption and I'm not, does that make me..._nobler_ than Angel?! Holy Hell, look at what a whelp **I'VE** become!!!

**Stuttering**

** Cold and damp**

** Steal the warm wind**

** Tired friend**

** Times are gone**

** For honest men**

** And sometimes**

** Far too long**

** In my shoes**

** A walking sleep**

** And my youth**

** I pray to keep**

** Heaven send**

** Hell away**

** No one sings**

** Like you anymore**

** Anymore**

** Black Hole Sun**

** Won't you come**

** And wash away the rain**

** Black Hole Sun**

** Won't you come **

** Won't you come**

** Hang my head**

** Drown my fear**

** Till you all just**

** Disappear**

As I raise my head upwards toward the warm light, I smile, well maybe smirk a bit, but mostly smile, as I feel myself turn into ash. I wish my duster hadn't turned to ash too, though. I always wondered why when us vamps get dusted our clothes become dust, too. The Master got bones when he died! Why can't I have bones, too?! I'm dying a bleeding hero!! Crapsicles. At least this is the end. And my soul has finally found the peace that my grandsire seeks!!! Ha Ha Ha! The ultimate kick in the stones to that bleeding, broody, hair gel wearing grandsire o' mine.!

** Black Hole Sun **

**Won't you come**

** And wash away the rain**

** Black Hole Sun**

** Won't you come**

** Won't you come**

And that was the end. Or so I thought. How was I suppose to know that my soul wasn't quite done "redeeming" yet? That it was going to be tested by a group of no good Good doers that I loathe more than my unchipped and unsouled self loathed the Scooby Gang? How was I suppose to know that I would have to spend the rest of my days with Angel Investigations and as a hu...a hu-hu...a _human_, no less!! This is Hell isn't it?! Who ever it is up there who is keeping track of who's being naughty or nice didn't think I suffered enough for my terrible misdeeds when I was a soulless demon so they made me my own private Hell!

*whisper*_ The Horror..._

**The End** (Maybe)

*****

R/R: Pleaseeeeeeee. Come on!!! At least this one isn't all angsty like most of my fanfic are. If you guys review I'll know if I should continue or not.

A/N: Sorry. Just had to combine my favorite song and my favorite bleached blonde hottie. I do have some ideas on continuing this fic but it would be in the Angel section for obvious reasons. But I won't know if I should continue if you guys don't REVIEW. You know that you guys are my inspiration...


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